After going through the physical and emotional process of surrogacy as an intended parent, it can feel like a relief to have your child in your arms. When you bring your child home from the hospital, however, the journey of surrogacy does not end. Your child’s surrogacy story remains with them forever, and it is up to you as their parent to be honest with your child about how they were conceived.
If you hide the fact that you used a surrogate during your child’s pregnancy, you may hurt your child emotionally without knowing it. At Baby Steps Surrogacy Center, Inc., we prepare intended parents for the surrogacy process from start to finish. We guide parents through surrogacy and give them advice on ways to raise a child born from surrogacy.
Genetic Effects of Surrogacy
If you chose traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother is the biological mother to your child. Even if you chose gestational surrogacy, you may have used an egg or sperm donor if you or your partner struggles with infertility or is otherwise unable to conceive or carry a child. Unless both the egg and sperm came from you and your partner, then surrogacy will affect your child genetically.
It is essential for your child to know they were conceived through surrogacy because their medical history and ancestral makeup depend on it. If your child ever develops a medical disorder or becomes curious about where their ancestors came from, then they must know that one or both of their parents are not biological.
Emotional Effects of Surrogacy
Surrogacy is not a negative thing when it is presented to a child correctly, but if it is hidden, it can become detrimental to a child’s identity. If a child finds out about surrogacy in the wrong way, they may develop feelings of shame and guilt surrounding the surrogacy. In addition, if you used a sperm or egg donor, your child may want to find their biological parents to learn more about themselves.
A child may harness resentment toward you as their parent if you hide such a crucial part of their creation. It is essential to present surrogacy early on and normalize it so that your child never feels ashamed about who they are.
Preparing to Talk about Surrogacy with Your Child
The best way to talk about surrogacy with your child is to start early. You can include your child’s surrogacy story in their baby book, write your child’s story in a journal for them to read later, and present the story in a positive light. As your child grows, they will have the surrogacy ingrained into their upbringing.
Contact an Experienced Surrogacy Agency in Pittsburgh
Discussing surrogacy with your child can be hard because you may think it will negatively affect them; however, you should not feel afraid to pursue surrogacy, because children are resilient and can lead happy and healthy lives no matter where they come from.
At Baby Steps Surrogacy Center, Inc., we are happy to discuss your options in greater detail in a free consultation. To speak with a member of our team, fill out the contact form below or call 412-281-9906.