Questions Intended Parents Should Ask when Choosing a Surrogate

When you have been unable to conceive, or if you have chosen assisted reproductive technology as a way to achieve your dream of having a baby, you may be looking into surrogacy arrangements.

When you have chosen to pursue surrogacy, you will have the opportunity to review the profiles of the potential surrogate mothers we work with here at Baby Steps Surrogacy Center, Inc. Once you believe you have found a surrogate who might be a good fit, you will be able to meet with her. Think of it as an interview opportunity for you and your potential surrogate to begin to know each other.

With this in mind, there are some questions you should consider asking that will help you understand what this surrogate’s hopes are in becoming a surrogate, what she expects from the experience, and more. We have included a few questions we believe will be helpful when meeting your potential surrogate mother.

What Made Her Decide to Be a Surrogate Mother?

Apart from being a good ice-breaker when meeting a possible surrogate mother, knowing what made her choose to give such a gift will help you better understand her as a woman and what her intentions are.

It is a widely known fact that most surrogate mothers receive some sort of compensation to support themselves while undergoing treatment; throughout the pregnancy, labor, and delivery; and in the weeks postpartum.

However, we do not work with surrogates whose only intention is to obtain financial assistance through surrogacy, as the surrogacy experience is often far more emotionally taxing on a woman than she may be prepared for if her only goal is to be compensated.

What Type of Surrogacy Is the Potential Surrogate Interested In?

There are two main types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother is artificially inseminated through intrauterine insemination (IUI) using donor sperm or sperm from the intended father. The goal is for the sperm to pair with her own eggs and create a pregnancy.

This is different from gestational surrogacy in that the surrogate mother undergoes in vitro fertilization (IVF) using the sperm and eggs of donors or the intended parents in order to achieve a pregnancy. The type of surrogacy you and your surrogate feel most comfortable with is a very personal decision, and you will want to be sure to choose a surrogate whose choices align with yours in this regard.

How Involved Does She Hope to Be after Your Baby Is Born?

Your surrogacy contract can allow as much or as little contact between your surrogate mother and your baby as you wish. Discussing how involved your potential surrogate hopes to be in your baby’s life is a critical question, as intended parents interested in zero contact and those who are open to regular visitation are clearly looking for quite different arrangements.

Before moving forward with your surrogacy arrangement, you will want to be sure that you have chosen a surrogate mother who you connect with, beyond anything else, so you can continue this process with as much confidence as possible.

Reach Out to a Respected Surrogacy Agency

Preparing to meet with potential surrogate mothers can be intimidating and leave you feeling anxious. If you would like to discuss your upcoming meeting with a surrogate, or if you have additional questions about choosing your surrogate, consult with Baby Steps Surrogacy Center, Inc. today. You can click on the contact button above and submit our brief contact form, or give us a call at 412-884-2229.